As the title suggests, it's been 13 months since I last wrote in my on-line diary. It sure feels like a long time ago and of course that each and every single day that passed in the last 13 months held its own story, it's own little victory or defeat with the end result of building my character and making me a bit more responsible.
13 months later, I am still in Brussels, finishing what I came to do here in the first place. I will not hide the fact that it has been by far the toughest challenge that I ever faced in my entire life.
Life abroad is very harsh sometimes and I also discovered by myself that once you hit the road and get the taste of the extremely subjective term of "Western Europe", you are no longer the person you were back home. No more "preferential" treatments on behalf of my cosmetician, my dentist, my family doctor ... but rather a skeptical look on the faces of those with whom I came into contact.
Being a young Romanian girl, you are labeled from the start, most of the times with the idiotic comparison or association to the Roma people. Second of all, you are not credible to the eyes of the Westerners, and this can be rather detrimental if you are job hunting. Last but not least, if you are a Romanian girl studying in Brussels, expressions of astonishment such as "Ah, une roumaine blonde" - French for "Ah, a blonde Romanian girl" should not come as a surprise.
So here I am, 13 months later, trying to make ends meet while working in a restaurant so that I can pay my exorbitant rent and finish my Master's Thesis. Good thing is that I am not completely alone, and that my friends make the difference. Every "best-seller story" to be has to have some sort of a love story underneath.This best-seller is no exception from the rule.
13 months later, I am back in Targu-Mures to visit my family and friends for a few days. My stay will reach an end tomorrow, when I will be heading towards mein Schatz, who will eagerly wait to pick me up from the Schuman metro station at precisely 7:15 pm.
Why this obsession with the number 13? Because I was born on the 13th...there is something magical about this number every single time :)
Cheers to everyone! It's good to be back!
duminică, 6 septembrie 2009
My final days in Romania are knocking at the door and I have no other option than to let them in, let them take control and enjoy everything around me while I still can.
I do not want to make it sound so dramatic, as this is, after all, what I yearned for in the first place. But seeing all these things that made me who I am and knowing that I won't wake up with them in the morning anymore makes me hesitate just a little bit. I think the hardest bridge I will have to cross once in Brussels would be that of missing my family and friends and not knowing how to cope with my feelings.
But on the other hand, I am also excited about making it alive from the urban jungle called BRUSSELS. I feel like a runner at the start-up would feel right now, just before an important race that s/he has to win. I'm just starting to heat my muscles, stretch, take a deep breath of air to ease the tension and prepare for the competition. Yes, I do see it like a competition, a competition which I have to win by any means as this is what I want- I want to make out there, I want to find my place somewhere...anywhere, I want to experience the most thrilling period of my life. I can feel it coming, it's already here.
A few days ago I started writing my "good-bye" e-mails for all my colleagues, friends and collaborators and I didn't think that I would end up doing it one day..wow, so unreal, almost like a dream...the only difference is that it's not a dream, it's a fact...I am about to change my life.
I feel low-spirited because I have to leave the company as I truly bonded with everyone, most of my colleagues grew up to become more like my friends, especially my dear, dear office mates: Ramona, Voicu, Eszter, Cristian, Vlad, Tibi and Erich. I know you will be reading these lines and I hope you will visit me soon :)!
Just look at us in this photo! We are a terrific team!
miercuri, 5 august 2009
Road Trip on a Budget
Whoever said camping isn’t fun didn’t visit Romania yet. This bloody Economic Crisis did have one positive outcome- exploring one’s own country instead of spending a fortune on an abroad holiday.
Last year I was enjoying the Croatian coast, followed by a city break in Barcelona and a wonderful winter treat in Slovakia and Poland. 2009 has been more or less a transition year for me, I am forced to keep my piggy bank close by and just put all my money in it so as to be prepared for the big departure date-14th of September- the day when I’ll kiss Romania good-bye and head for Brussels.
So here I am, enjoying my days off and trying to stick to my holiday budget… last Friday 5 Romanian youngsters departed on an interesting road trip. First stop?! Poiana Mărului (=Apple’s Clearing) where we settled the base. Wonderful scenery, fresh air, lots of apple trees. After 2 days spent in the camp, we headed for Orşova- a port city- to visit the Danube River.
The Danube River enters Romania through a narrow gorge in the Carpathians Mountains, called The Iron Gate. The area is reputed for its geological complexity, biological diversity and historical vestiges. Close to the city of Orşova, the Danube reduces its size and enters the so-called “Boilers” area (Cazanele Dunării). There are two such boilers- The Big Boilers (Cazanele Mari) and The Small Boilers (Cazanele Mici). Due to the rocky surface the Danube has to cross on its way to the Black Sea, the speed of the water flowing is much higher almost giving the impression of boiling water- thus the name Danube Boilers. Seeing all those places made me feel proud of my origins especially after having the chance to view the Statue of Decabalus- our Dacian king. The statue is impressive in size- approximately 40 meters high, which is also the tallest rock sculpture in Europe. The constructions started in 1994 and took over 10 years to complete. Under the statue, one can read the following:”Decebalus Rex- Dragan Fecit”- King Decebal-Made by Drăgan.
On the 4th day we headed from our base camp to Retezat Mountains, one of the tallest mountains in Romania. The area also consists of a National Park, Retezat National Park being the first recognized Romanian National Park. Awesome scenery, crystal clear glacier lakes and breathtaking mountain peaks. We made it to Lake Bucura (2030 m altitude), covering an 8 ha surface, which is the largest glacier lake in Romania. Unfortunately the weather conditions did not allow us to head for the tallest peak from the Retezat Mountains- Peleaga, 2509 m. Maybe some other time…
All in all, super cool company, super cool places, super cool country! I love Romania, too bad that some areas are full with litter! Guys, seriously, use garbage cans! Nature has to be protected!
marți, 21 iulie 2009
Shame, Shame, Shame ...shame on you if you can't dance too !!!
Ever have those days when you wake up in the morning feeling the good old disco fever?! It's my "disco day" today so I started listening to the '75 Shirley and Company track- Shame!
Back to reality, back to the office :((. My colleague who's sitting right in front of me has that strange look on his face "What the f... is she doing with that chair?" Well what do you think? Shaking my a.., shaking my a.. :))
Can't stop me now hear what I say
My feet wanna move so get out my way
I'm gonna have my say
I'm going to every discotheque
I'm gonna dance dance dance dance ooh
Till the break of day I say
Shirley and Company - Shame Shame Shame (1975)
Asculta mai multe audio Muzica
Everyone wants to be happy and noone wants to suffer but very few people understand the concept of happiness or suffering and the reasons which lie underneath. Happiness is a state of mind so the real source of happiness must lie within the mind, not in external conditions. Most of us tend to look for happiness in the outside world, we need an external stimulus, something that can motivate us to be happy. How many rich people owning luxurious cars, state-of-the-arts appliances, dream houses are truly happy? We spend almost all our life adjusting the outside world to our wishes, thinking that by achieving our goals we would also be happy. But the truth is that happiness is not to be found in material belongings. All our lives we have tried to surround our selves with people and things that make us feel comfortable or secure and we fool ourselves thinking that this is true happiness.
True happiness is not related in any way to what you own in the outside world, it's what you own in the inside that counts. Happiness is a state of mind which should never disappear. Changing car after car after car will never bring you happiness unless you change who you are.
Dharma in Buddhism and Hinduism has a broad understanding and a precise translation of the term has not been clearly agreed upon until now. Its meaning can vary from "life" to "manner of being". As I am romantic, I always chose to use the reference to "one's primary purpose of life". It is no secret the fact that Buddhists believe in reincarnation. Basically, at the start of a new life you are given a "task" to complete. Depending on your karma, the task will be easy or hard to complete.
I often wonder about my purpose in this life. What is it that I have to do? Did I take the right decision by leaving for Brussels? Will I ever reach happiness? I read an interesting article about Dharma once where I found out that you have 3 major crossroads during your life. One is right at the border between adolescence and youth, another one is during your mid-mature life and a final bridge that you have to cross is at the start of your late life.
Now considering the fact that I am 24 years old, I do not think that I have to face the first major change in my life. Probably all these 3 crossroads are "customized" for each individual. Looking back in time though, it is absolutely obvious that in the past 9 months or so my life has suffered major changes. The Wheel of life has been turned and I'm not quite sure about the outcome. I guess I have to live it out and adapt to whatever condition the future would bring.
I could not appreciate what I had so I had to lose it. I could not tell the difference between happiness and sorrow so I had to face them, one after the other and sometimes even simultaneously. Funny how us humans are- never quite convinced that what you have at the moment is the best that you can get.
If you ask me, I think that we all have the same Dharma- to be truly happy!
miercuri, 10 iunie 2009
I was surfing the Internet this morning while trying to find some IELTS Test samples I could solve and meanwhile I came across this video.I collapsed laughing!!! In a way, this is also my tragic/comic failed relationship but seeing this right in front of my laptop screen just hit me in my face. Here I am thinking, crying, feeling miserable, pitying myself just because V. left me when in fact this is just how things are.
History repeats itself, I of all others should know just how true this sentence is, after all, I did graduate from the History- English Faculty.Instead of just wiping my eyes every time I hear a motorbike passing by or a car that seems to be his from the distance, I should try to start enjoying my single life. And by the time I really,really,really,tremendously, absolutely embrace my new status I shall meet another person who will get me through the same marry-go-round feelings; I'm just hoping that the outcome will be different next time.
I leave you with the video now, hope you enjoy it and I would be more than thrilled if you post a comment about it.
sâmbătă, 30 mai 2009
I wish I could be truly free, careless, happy, serene, to breathe light, fresh air, revigorating my entire being. I wish I could taste the saltiness of your skin, the sweetness of your embrace, the sourness of your good- bye, the perfume of your smooth hair, your quintessence...
This life we are living has something dual about it. We can experience both happiness and sadness, even at the same time. And although, most of us would ponder whether or not the sadness is more present in our lives than happiness, I dare to comment that it is us who choose how to see things.
Let it be known to anyone reading these lines that I too chose to suffer more than to be joyous out of love most of the times. I was out of love most of the times. The scenario kept repeating itself obsessively, over and over and over again leaving me with little hope that I would indeed find the right person for me. I do not believe in soul mates but I do believe in destiny. There is someone destined for everyone out there, there is someone who can help without being helped, who can appreciate you without asking anything in return. This is also called love, affection, care, humanity, the prerequisite for spiritual evolution. Everything is centered around love, everything and everyone.
Most of us though, once they have found that certain someone tend to neglect his/her role in our development and little by little start casting him/her away. Try to never forget everything the other one has sacrificed for your well being. Bear in mind that love is a synonym with equilibrium. Do not dominate the loved one, do not let yourself being dominated. Though extremely difficult to obtain, the state of equilibrium in a relationship is most necessary so as to achieve happiness together.
I guess God just wanted me to speak out once I have gone trough the same experience...